


if i die, it's on you

by commanderbadass



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 14:45:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commanderbadass/pseuds/commanderbadass
Summary: After the second game against Switzerland, Christen blames herself for missing a few occasions. When she learns that her girlfriend went back to the stadium to let her frustration out, Tobin meets her there. Even if it's freezing outside and she might die. Not to be dramatic or anything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I had in my drafts.

When the whole team went back to the locker room, they looked like a bunch of children, hugging and laughing. It was all compliments on the game or congratulations for the goals. Tobin was walking next to Allie, who wasn't saying much. Tobin knew how bad her friend wanted to go back to midfield and how she wasn't satisfied of the way she had played in the game. So she just walked next to her.

They finally entered the locker room and she still wasn't talking, her head down. Tobin just wanted for her to celebrate with the rest of the team so when Allie reached her locker, Tobin jogged towards her.

"Yo, Harry!" she said, her voice barely audible in the noisy room.

Allie barely had the time to hold onto Tobin as the midfielder literally jumped on her and hid her face in the crook of her neck. Even if she tried to fight it, the blonde couldn't help but laugh at Tobin's antics. She let her go when Tobin's feet finally touched the floor and the younger woman put an arm around her shoulders.

"Smile," Tobin simply told her.

That was all she said, leaving a kiss on Allie's temple. Allie smiled at how _Tobin_ it was while she watched her friend walk away to throw her cleats in her locker. Tobin sat down next to Moe for a while, messing with the younger girl. Tobin was poking Morgan's stomach, punctuating a joke she had just made, when Moe elbowed her in the ribs. Tobin was about to playfully hit her back but Moe stopped her and nodded towards the other side of the room.

Tobin spotted Christen on the bench, meticulously untying her laces to take off her cleats. She had retreated in the corner of the room soon after the group had started to celebrate their win. She only briefly lifted her head up when Crystal came up to her to squeeze her shoulder and to compliment her on the game. Christen forced a smile and brushed it off.

"Congrats to you and Lynn, it was a great goal," she said to her teammate.

Crystal winked at her and started a silly dance move, half-singing half-whispering, "Yes, it waaas."

Christen chuckled at the girl's behavior but soon enough her attention was back on her shoelaces. She let her fingers pull at the strings with more strength than necessary, evacuating a bit of frustration with each hasty move. Tobin left Moe to get closer to Christen, a smile stretching her lips. The forward was finally done with one of her cleats and kicked it off her left foot. Tobin sat down next to her and just as Christen was about to start inflicting the same treatment to the other shoe, Tobin put her hand on her wrist and squeezed it gently.

"Stop beating yourself up," Tobin whispered.

Christen pulled her wrist out of Tobin's grasp and took her time to take off the other cleat, ignoring the older woman. She eventually stood up to grab a bag in her locker. After a good minute of silence and Tobin still sitting close to her with no intention to move, Christen countered, "I am not beating myself up."

Tobin stoop up as well and circled Christen's waist with her arms, hugging her from behind and resting her chin on Christen's shoulder.

"Yes, you are," she said, her voice muffled by the forward's jersey and she placed the lightest kiss possible at the juncture between Christen's neck and shoulder, barely touching her skin.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you-"

"Tobin," Christen cut her off, her harsh voice warning Tobin she wasn't in the mood to fight. Even as playful as it was.

The feeling of comforting strong arms against her waist vanished and Christen bit down on her lip, already regretting her ice-cold tone. Tobin grabbed a towel and headed to the showers, brushing her arm against Christen's on her way to let her know she wasn't mad and she would give her the space she wanted. Christen knew that Tobin understood how she worked by now but Tobin's little gesture made the knots in her stomach disappear.

When Tobin came back to her locker, a few minutes later, her hair still wet and in clean clothes, she put on a sweater and relaxed in the newly-found warmth. She took a deep breath and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes and taking in the noise filling the room. Chatter, loud laughs, slammed doors, slight chuckles, the sharp sound of high-fives; it almost gave her a headache but it was comforting at the same time.

As she was about to doze off, someone ruffled her hair.

"What's with the face?"

Tobin opened her eyes to see Kelley sitting down next to her, her eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer. Her eyes sparkling and her cheeks still red, only one sock left on, completely disheveled, Tobin could have mistaken her for a four-year-old child leaving soccer practice. Kelley leaned her forearm on Tobin's shoulder, patiently waiting for her friend to talk.

"My best friend is grumpy because she's clearly not a center back and my girlfriend is angry because she missed one shot. Tonight is going to be fun," Tobin sighed, remembering the whole team was supposed to go out later that evening.

Kelley gave her knee a tap and poked her cheek, saying, "It's going to be, Toby."

She abruptly stopped right after her sentence and she seemed to be cogitating for a few seconds. She then laughed, for no apparent reason and Tobin asked her what was so funny.

"To be, Toby," Kelley repeated as if it was obvious.

She tried to say it as fast as she could, until her tongue couldn't keep up and a burst of laughter joined the hubbub filling the room. Tobin started at Kelley who was hiding her face in her hands, still laughing. When she finally calmed down, she tried to say it again. Tobin shook her head in disbelief. If someone looked at Kelley now, they could think she had just heard the greatest joke of the year. 

"Seriously? How old are you?"

"Try to say it fast, it's fun," Kelley pushed her friend.

"No, it's not. This is the lamest thing I've ever heard." 

Kelley had her mouth wide open, offended. She got up and huffed, "It's just because you don't like to be called Toby."

Tobin shook her head in disbelief and began to gather her gear. The noise was becoming a little too much and she decided to wait in the hallway. She grabbed her bag and headed to the door. Just as she was about to leave the room, she heard someone repeating "To be, Toby" really fast. She turned her head towards the noise. When she saw Ashlyn way too focused for this dumb game and Kelley dying of laughter on the bench, Tobin wondered what she had done to have friends like this.

* * *

"Moe, where's my jacket?"

Tobin had gone through her suitcase and couldn't find it. She knew how rooming with Moe was and she probably had thrown it somewhere because it was on her bed or something like that.

"Which one?" the younger girl shouted from the bathroom.

"You know I only have one."

Moe got out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.  

"The leather jacket?" she asked and Tobin nodded. "Dude, you're crazy. It's way too cold."

"I thought we were going to a bar. In a cab."

"Yeah. So?"

"So, I think I can survive the thirty seconds it's going to take us to go from the cab to the bar with a leather jacket."

Moe shrugged, "If you say so."

Tobin waited for her roommate to tell her where the jacket was but the answer never came.

"Can you answer my question?"

Moe looked away from the different outfits that were on her bed.

"Which was?"

Tobin rolled her eyes, "The jacket?"

"Oh yeah, it's in the pile on the desk."

Tobin turned around and saw the pile of clothes. She was about to ask Moe why there were so many clothes but she decided against it when she saw what constituted the pile. Morgan's jerseys, Morgan's shorts, Morgan's sweaters and probably the entirety of Morgan's soccer gear was on the desk. In the middle of this mess, she spotted her jacket's sleeve and tried to pull it out. Miraculously, the pile of clothes didn't collapse.

"How long until you're ready to go?" Tobin asked, putting on the jacket.

"Just go get Press, I'll meet you guys in the lobby."

Tobin and nodded and opened the door.

"Wait, Tobs. One, two or three?" Moe asked, pointing at the different potential outfits on the bed.

Tobin got closer to the bed, quickly checked what was on it and answered, "Two."

"But it's the worst one!" Moe exclaimed.

"Then why did you even put it on the bed?" Tobin countered in the same tone.

The younger girl stuck her tongue out at Tobin and sighed, "You're useless. Just go."

Tobin jokingly shoved Moe and both of them chuckled before she finally left the room. 

* * *

Tobin knocked on the door, waiting for an answer from the other side. When she heard Lynn's voice, she quickly pushed the door open to find her teammate sitting on her bed.

"Hey Lynn, I'm looking for your roomie," she announced, a small smile on her lips.

"She went back to the stadium," Lynn told the other girl, setting her phone on the covers. "She said she needed to "get it out of her system"," she added, quoting the exact words Christen had used.

"But it's freezing!" Tobin exclaimed, disbelief in her eyes.

Lynn put her hands up in defense, "That's what I told her but she wouldn't listen."

Tobin sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes closed. That was _so_ Christen.

"I'm sorry, Tobin. I should've tried to stop her."

Tobin's eyes shot open and she saw the embarrassed look on Lynn's face. She shook her head.

"What? No, that's not your fault. Honestly when she's like this, there's nothing that can make her change her mind," Tobin chuckled sadly. "And anyway, it's not your job to look after her."

"It is. Kind of..." Tobin didn't understand. "I mean, she's been looking after me. And we're a team. We're supposed to look after each other."

"Like a family," they added at the same time.

When their eyes met, Tobin smiled genuinely at the younger woman who seemed less tense. Knowing that girls like her where the future of the team reassured her.

"Well, I guess I should get going," Tobin sighed, looking at the hour on her phone and quickly texting Moe. "Have fun tonight."

"Maybe you should grab an actual coat," Lynn joked, pointing at Tobin's jacket as she was about to close the door.

Tobin turned around and pointed at the younger player, "If I die from the cold, it's on you."

She heard Lynn's laugh behind the closed door and couldn't help but smile at the sound. However, when she passed the double doors to get out of the hotel, her smiled vanished as quickly as it had appeared. She was definitely going to grab a coat.

* * *

The first thing she saw when she arrived on the pitch was the line of balls in front of the goal. Perfectly aligned for a few seconds, they all ended up hitting the back of the net. Tobin smiled and watched Christen position the balls the same way she had done before. She looked at the way the striker's foot hit the ball, the way her hips slightly turned, the way she pressed her lips, focused. There was nothing more peaceful than an empty stadium at night with the thud of cleats meeting hitting the ball echoing against the stands. She waited for Christen to be done with her current series to approach her.

The sound of Tobin's shoes on the grass made Christen turned her head towards her girlfriend's figure. When she realized who it was, she went to the goal to pick up the balls once again. She didn't feel like talking.

Tobin didn't say a word either. She picked up a ball and jogged to the left side of the pitch. Once the ball on the ground, she put her hands back deep in her pockets and started to run, the ball at her feet, until she could make the perfect cross. Christen shot it as soon as it touched the tip of her shoe and the ball hit the back of the net.

They kept working like this. Tobin started to switch sides every five goals and tried to send as many different balls and set up as many different situations as possible.

After a good thirty minutes, Tobin couldn't feel the tip of her toes. Ten minutes later, she had come to terms with the fact that her toes would probably be amputated because of frostbites. She warped her scarf around her ears and her nose, so tight it was almost difficult to breathe. When Christen realized no ball was coming her way, she looked behind her and saw Tobin struggling with her scarf.

"You're alright over there?"

Tobin looked up and quickly gave her a thumbs-up. Christen couldn't see Tobin's lips but by the way her cheekbones went up and the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes, she knew her girlfriend was smiling. She saw Tobin shiver and quickly walked up to her. Christen put her hand on Tobin's forehead, her fingertips meeting cold skin.

"Are you too cold?" she asked, concerned and Tobin shook her head no, too proud to admit she was about to die. "Alright, one more and we're going back to the hotel."

"What? No."

"Tobin, you're freezing." The older girl furiously shook her head again. "Alright, say something to me, then. Just talk."

Tobin lowered her scarf to talk and immediately regretted it.

"We don't have to g-get back to the hotel right n-now. I'm-" she started but she was cut short by Christen's hand in front of her face.

"See? You can't say more than three words without your teeth chattering."

"I'm not cold. I'm never cold," Tobin stated. It was physically painful for her to keep herself from shivering and Christen didn't miss it.

"You're an idiot," she chuckled.

"But you love me," Tobin pouted.

Christen wrapped her arms around her, trying to warm her up, and whispered against her cheek, "Unfortunately, I do."

"Thank you for coming here." Christen left a peck on Tobin's lips.

"Sure. I would have never left you here alone," the midfielder smiled.

Chrisren adjusted the scarf under her girlfriend's nose again.

"Now, come on. Let's get out of here."

Tobin tried to protest once more but Christen stopped her right away, piling the balls in her arms. They quickly gathered everything Christen had used and she started to put every piece of gear back in its own place. Tobin was a partisan of leaving everything in the hallway but her point of view earned her a disapproving glare. When they finally left the stadium, Tobin internally thanked Christen for deciding to get back to the hotel. She was convinced she had definitely lost her toes. But at least Christen was feeling better.

* * *

On their way back, Tobin texted Moe to ask her if she was okay with Christen hanging out in their room for a while. To what Moe answered she was stupid for even asking something like that. They directly headed to Tobin's room, welcoming the warmth of the hotel lobby with a smile. When they entered the room, Moe was lying on her bed, typing something on her phone. Christen walked up to the girl and they exchanged a high-five. Tobin just sat on her own bed, her coat still on and didn't move while Christen grabbed one of Tobin's shirts and a pair of shorts before disappearing into the bathroom.

Tobin's red fingers burned because of the temperature difference and she winced.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm gonna die," Tobin mumbled, "and it burns." 

She brought her hand up so that Morgan could see her fingers.

"Then take your coat off," she shrugged.

"I can't. I'm freezing."

"You just said your hands were burning."

"Yes. My hands. Not my entire body," she groaned. "It was _so_ cold."

Moe laughed at Tobin's behavior. She was tired and grumpy but the younger girl would never be able to take Tobin's harsh voice seriously.

"Is Christen okay?"

"She better be."

"Stop acting all tough, Tobin. You were crying twenty seconds ago because your hands hurt-" Moe started but Tobin cut her off.

"I never _cried_. Shut up," she countered but couldn't stop the small smile on her lips.

"- and you would've stayed two more hours in the cold if she had asked you to," Moe ended.

"Yeah, so?"

"You're cute."

"I know," Tobin said with a smug smile.

Morgan threw a pillow at Tobin's face, grinning when her teammate cursed under her breath when it hit her nose. She then slipped under the covers and they fell into a comfortable silence. It took the midfielder a few minutes to realize that Moe was right and she should indeed take off her coat. She fumbled with the zipper for a while and finally threw the dark blue coat on the nearest chair. She changed into a pair of sweatpants, a shirt and put on a sweatshirt as well, still shivering.

It didn't take Christen long to get out of the bathroom and she shook her head in disbelief at the sight of Tobin rolled up in the sheets, her sweatshirt's hood on. As soon as she slipped under the covers, Tobin moved closer to her, seeking any kind of warmth possible. Christen leaned her back against the headboard, Tobin draped over her. When her frozen feet met Christen's hot skin, the forward groaned and slapped her arm.

"Ow. I can't feel my toes," Tobin explained.

"Well, _I_ can," Christen huffed.

Moe's laugh echoed in the room, amused by her friends. Tobin turned her head to stare at the younger player.

"It's not funny. They're gonna cut them off. It's how frostbites end."

"Don't be so dramatic," Moe said. "Have you ever even had frostbites?"

Tobin stayed quiet for a good minute before simply replying, "Yes."

Morgan laughed.

"You just cannot lie. This is so sad."

"I'm not lying."

"Yes, you are! When you wait that long to give an answer, you're lying," Morgan stated. "It's like that time I asked you what was going on with you and Press and you didn't say anything. And then, two minutes later, you went "Nothing."," she said, trying to imitate Tobin's voice.

"Wait, what?" Christen asked, laughing and Tobin groaned when Moe started to tell her what had happened that day. 

Both girls kept chuckling for a few minutes, exchanging anecdotes about Tobin's inability to lie, while the protagonist of these stories crossed her arms and waited for them to stop making fun of her.

"Alright, you guys are done?" Tobin finally huffed, annoyed. "I'd like to sleep since I played the whole game, unlike _some_ people."

"Oh please, Tobin. You just played "How many people can I nutmeg?" for ninety minutes."  
  
"And what did you do, Brian? Connect three passes?"  
  
Moe struggled to get one arm out of the covers and flipped her off, laughing.  
  
"I connected them all, you sucker."  
  
Tobin laughed, her face hidden in Christen's shoulder and whispered, "Right."

After half an hour of small talk, Tobin's feet were still cold and she couldn't stop but shiver from time to time. She was practically glued to Christen by now, seeking any kind of contact with her heated skin, but it hadn't been effective. When Tobin shivered once more, Christen stopped her conversation with Moe and looked down at the older woman, who still had her hood on.

"Take it off," Christen said, tugging at Tobin's sweatshirt.

"I'm still in the room," Morgan groaned, waving to emphasize her point.

Tobin shook her head no, gripping the hood to keep it on her head and curled into a ball.

"You're not going to warm up with this thing on, Tobin," Christen said in a small voice.

But Tobin kept refusing to let go of her grey hoodie and they bickered for a while until Moe, pretty quiet until then, announced in a cold voice, "I swear to god, Heath, if you're not taking this damn sweater off right now I'm undressing you myself."

Tobin lifted her head to catch Christen's eyes, looking for her support, but the glare she received matched Morgan's voice. Her eyes navigated quickly between the two other women in the room and she came to the conclusion that giving up seemed like the most reasonable decision. Sighing heavily, she took off her hoodie with reluctance and let it fall on the carpeting. She got back into the refuge of Christen's arms immediately after that and the younger woman laughed, drawing patterns mindlessly on Tobin's arm. Tobin couldn't deny that they were right and she was already feeling warmer. But she wouldn't dare to admit it.

Her eyelids felt heavier and heavier and just as she was letting herself dive into the void of her dreams, Moe's voice brought her back to reality.

"Did you and Kelley come up with that tongue-twister  _to be Toby_? Because it's not that hard to say, really."

Planning Kelley's murder in her head, Tobin mumbled in Christen's shirt, "I hate her." And leaving a last kiss on Christen's neck, she added, "But I love you and you love her. So I might let her live a little longer."


End file.
